How Can I Help My Teen or College Student with Anxiety?

If you’re a parent watching your teenager or college student struggle with anxiety, you probably know the helpless feeling that comes with wanting to fix it—but not knowing how. You can see their racing thoughts, the sleepless nights, the irritability, or the way they shut down before a big exam or social event. You want to say the right thing, but sometimes every word feels like it lands wrong.

First, take a deep breath. You’re not alone in this. Anxiety among teens and college students is at an all-time high, and it’s not because you did something wrong. The world your child is growing up in moves fast—social media pressures, academic stress, fears about the future—it’s a lot to hold. But there are ways to help.

💡 Step 1: Start with Empathy, Not Fixing

When your child is anxious, it’s natural to want to jump into problem-solving mode. But often what they need first isn’t advice—it’s calm presence.

Try starting with phrases like:

• “That sounds really hard.”

• “I can see how much this is weighing on you.”

• “You don’t have to figure it out alone.”

These simple statements do something powerful: they tell your teen that their feelings make sense. Once they feel understood, they’re more open to hearing solutions or support.

🧠 Step 2: Learn What Anxiety Really Is

Anxiety isn’t laziness, defiance, or drama—it’s the brain’s alarm system getting stuck on “high alert.” Teens and young adults often experience anxiety physically: racing heart, tense muscles, stomach issues, dizziness, or fatigue.

Understanding this helps you respond with compassion instead of frustration.If your teen says, “I can’t do this,” they’re not being dramatic—they’re overwhelmed. Their brain has switched into fight-or-flight mode, and they need help calming down before they can think clearly.

🌿 Step 3: Create Calm Before Conversation

When anxiety spikes, reasoning won’t help until the body is calm. Encourage your teen to try:

• Taking slow, steady breaths

• Stepping outside or walking the dog

• Listening to calming music

• Using grounding techniques (like naming five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear…)

Then, once they’re calmer, that’s the time to talk. Ask open questions:

“What’s one small thing that might help right now?”“Do you want me to just listen or help problem-solve?”

Giving them control helps rebuild confidence and trust.

🗓 Step 4: Model What You Want Them to Learn

Teens notice what you do more than what you say. When you handle stress by taking a deep breath, going for a walk, or setting boundaries, they see it.If you say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’m going to take a break,” you’re teaching them emotional regulation in real time.

You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be human and consistent.

💬 Step 5: Support Healthy Routines

Anxiety thrives on exhaustion and chaos. Small routines can make a big difference:

• Encourage a regular sleep schedule (as much as possible with college students!)

• Support balanced meals and hydration

• Help them break down large tasks into smaller steps

• Encourage breaks from screens and doom-scrolling

You can’t force them to do these things, but you can model structure, consistency, and balance at home.

💗 Step 6: Know When to Seek Extra Support

If your teen’s anxiety is:

• Interfering with school, friendships, or daily life

• Causing panic attacks or physical symptoms

• Leading to withdrawal, hopelessness, or self-harm thoughts

…it’s time to bring in professional help. Therapy can teach tools to manage anxiety, challenge negative thoughts, and regulate emotions in healthy ways.

Reaching out for therapy isn’t a sign of failure—it’s an act of care. It means you’re giving your child a space to breathe and build coping skills for life.

💬 Step 7: Keep Perspective—It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Anxiety management takes time. There will be progress and setbacks, calm weeks and rough ones. Try to focus less on “fixing” and more on helping your child feel safe, seen, and supported. That’s where healing starts.

Remember: your presence matters more than perfect words.

🪞A Reflection for Parents

When your child is anxious, your job isn’t to remove every obstacle—it’s to walk beside them until they believe they can face it themselves.

You’re teaching resilience every time you respond with patience, curiosity, and compassion instead of fear.

If your teen or college student is struggling to manage anxiety and it’s affecting their daily life, professional support can help them build the confidence and coping tools they need. At Journey Life Balance, I work with teens and young adults to help them understand their anxiety, regain balance, and start feeling more in control again.

🌐 journeylifebalance.com

📍Serving NY, PA, and CT (virtual sessions available)

📲 Instagram: @journeylifebalance